Incomplete - Alanis Morissette

 

Incomplete - Alanis Morissette

Flavors of Entanglement has been a coming-of-age album for me. In 2008, teenage me had just started crafting his musical taste and, after The Cranberries in 2007, Alanis Morissette was the second singer I threw myself into head first—also thanks to my mom’s only cassette in the car being Jagged Little Pill while I was growing up.

Notwithstanding the musical merit of the album, it always held a close place in my heart, being the one just released when I approached Alanis. Underneath was playing on the radio and has been the most played song on my iTunes for years to come. I really (virtually) consumed that album, and have felt a close bond with many of the songs for a long time. As my musical taste (and age) matured, I found myself looking at FoE with more emotional distance and, although I still love most songs very much (even the ones that I was not much into at the time), Incomplete ended up being the least favorite of my adult self. It just sounded… Incomplete? Too light and airy? Just plain forgettable? Silly?

Things have changed in recent times. Facing a low-point in terms of mental health, hope, energy, and general life motivation, I have started to relate to the song much more. “I have been running, so sweaty my whole life, urgent for a finish line” sings Alanis. How not to relate to this? Study in school to open doors for your future. Work hard to set up your life as a young adult. Then, upon choosing an academic life, give your whole time, brain, energy to your work—which you love, but love is ephemeral as we know. Give your whole self to the person you chose as your partner—over and over, but then facing the inevitable disappointments. 

One day I’ll be arrived, I’ll be secure, I’ll be less afraid, I’ll be measured outside my professional achievements (“poems and lyrics and art”) sings Alanis, unclear (to me) whether this is hope for her future self once she’s able to let go or rather the ghost of the past self-imposed demands to be perfect, to live a perfect life, to achieve one’s goals.

The message of the song, apparently, is that achieving our goals is actually not life’s goal. In the end, if we achieved all our goals, what would there be left to do? Embracing the uncertainty, precariousness, incompleteness of life is actually what life is about: “I’ve been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete”. Blessed be Alanis who can feel rapture at being incomplete. I still feel anguish, lack of energy, hopelessness… I just feel tired. Maybe incompleteness is not meant for perfectionists. Or for people who don’t even know what their actual goals are and who have been running around so sweaty their whole life not even knowing where they are going…

I guess that, overall, I still don’t feel like I fully buy into the song given my incapability to enjoy incompleteness, but at least I now more deeply understand its starting point and see the state of being it describes as a desirable state. Maybe that’s the first step to getting there, to feeling the rapture of being forever incomplete.

Heaven - liv

 

Heaven - liv

Just the perfect song for when you're awake at 4 AM for the 10th  consecutive day.

Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have, but I have it - Lana del Rey

Hope is a dangerous thing for
a woman like me to have, but
I have it - Lana del Rey

This song strikes a chord, especially in these days as I seem heavily immersed in nostalgic thoughts being back in Hong Kong after a while (and watching videos of strangers answer questions about their first loves, lost loves, painful life moments, etc.). I have spent a large part of my young adult years feeling a lack of something in my life, mostly in the domain of romantic relationships. As time passed and the situation didn't change, I went on to envision more and more realistically the possibility that I would spend my life without someone on my side, which left me distraught at first, but which I have learned to live with in a way that allowed me to still be serendipitous. My mind and approach to life have been shaped by these feelings to the point that I (still) have an instinctive, baseline tendency to consider myself as single, even when I am not. Be it when I listen to a song or relate to other people's stories and experiences, often I empathise with others' words and feelings and stories with a "I know what you feel, I'm in the same boat too!" attitude, to then realise it is actually not true. As I have been spending more and more time in relationships, this feeling has been slowly fading to the back of my mind, but sometimes still emerges. I used to think that my case was hopeless, but it wasn't. If I made it, you can make it too. Be it because you have had too many experiences and it seems that no one would wanna stick with you, or that you have barely had any experience and it seems that no one even wants to give you a chance, if you want to have someone on your side, don't give up! Someone is out there and you never know what life has planned for you. If you have no desire to have (just) one person next to you and the world seems to push back all the time to the socialised concept of the stable, monogamous relationship, don't give up! There are other people out there who feel in the same way. Either way, life changes and what we want changes. Sometimes we "change what we want" based on what is available to us, and sometimes this can be good, you can fins happiness where you didn't look for it. But be honest with your feelings and desires, and don't settle for something that doesn't really make you feel good about the present and about the future! It will be hard, but if you pick the good card from the deck, it will have been worth the wait 🙂. Don't give up on hope, even when it's painful to keep it. Hope is a dangerous thing to have for people like us, for people with our past. But we have it.

What's it gonna be? - Shura

What's it gonna be? - Shura

A bell just rang in my head to remind me of this album and I threw myself into it immediately. Of course, I got immediately transported back to late 2016. Now pondering about how my life is in an opposite stage as it was back then, but at the same time it's the same. Back then I was starting my path in Hong Kong, and now (goodness willing) I am entering the final stage of it, ready to step into something new soon (the first step into vs the last step before getting out of). I was (not that) innocent back then, I already felt like an adult but I the experiences I've gone through in the past 4 years make me look back to that older me as "still a kid" (I am still innocent, as much as Britney). I was at the "beginning" of something then as I am now, with similar dreams and plans, but there is a world of difference in me and in the situations (young adult vs hair-losing adult). I wanted to find something stable back then as I do now, but I knew well that the stability I'd find back then would be temporary, while the one I look for now could be "forever" (unstable stability vs stable stability). The people I had in my life back then are still here as before, even if dynamics change; many others have come in the life rollercoaster, even if dynamics are often similar (same difference vs different sameness). Life happenings are similar now and then, but I feel like I was doing everything with much more passion back then, stronger feelings, more excitement, whereas now I appreciate routine more than ever (not that I didn't before) and I sometimes wonder where did most of the passion go. Maybe this stay-at-home 2020 has taken more life out of life than I realised. Hopefully it will teach me/us to appreciate the little things more, to get excited about nothing, to find passion in the routine (routine passion vs passionate routine). It feels like I was becoming an adult back then, and now I am in the process of becoming an adult again, just a next stage adult (again, young vs hair-losing). Weird feelings. Weird thoughts. Maturity is such a relative concept, when looking at the present vs the past. But songs that make me feel nostalgic always send me back to younger days. And I realise that in the end, even if everything is different, some things haven't changed much: I was not 2 shy to say it back then, I guess I am not now either.

In my feelings - Lana del Rey

Countdown to 2019: -1 (but, well... Happy 2019!)

In my feelings - Lana del Rey

This last song comes in late (but it's still 2018 somewhere), and it's actually from 2017, so it's already 2 years old, but who cares! It took me a while to approach Lana's most recent album, but there were some hidden gems that I really came to appreciate in the past months. This song in particular really resonated with me for some events that happened in this 2018. I have been unapologetic for feeling all my (fu*king) feelings (like Lana), coming out of a relationship with communication problems in which I was the one who expressed all the feelings (maybe even too much), and especially realising I am living in a city surrounded by people who do not show (and claim not even to feel) their emotions, a fact which is starting to make me not feel at home in Hong Kong... Cultural differences are undeniable, and I left Italy as a "not-very-affectionate" person to end up in Hong Kong feeling like an emotional spinning top. I tried to find the middle way, but unsuccessfully so far, and I decided to indeed be feeling all my fuc*king feelings. Good ones, bad ones, I'd rather be alive than feel like a straight line on an ECG, even if being alive means facing problems, absoring negative events and emotions, and being emotionally unstable. I'm feeling all my fu*king feelings, and I'll keep doing so in 2019 too for sure. I wish you all a new year full of feelings (hopefully mostly good ones, but don't underestimate the bad ones, because they offer a much needed reference point for us to feel happy in other times) and of course of great music!

Cheers!

Bad woman - Lykke Li

Countdown to 2019: -2

Bad woman - Lykke Li

In what might well (have) be(en) my favourite album of 2018 (if it weren't for Florence, that is), Lykke Li changed gears again, towards a genre that's not really my cup of tea, but that I ended up greatly enjoying. This end-of-summer I had the "pleasure" of going through a tough breakup at a tough time of year, while busy with an exam I spent the whole summer preparing, getting cut off by the person I needed the most... it hasn't been easy, but surprisingly I breezed through things much more lightly that I throught I would. As I told many people, I was ok in a moment when I should've been running naked and screaming in the streets pulling my hair. I've had my fair share of "bad womanhood", as my special one did, and as we all do at times, I guess. No one's perfect and relationships are hard work, and it takes two to tango. And tango takes a lot of effort, energy and dedication. It happens that the dance stops working, but when the dancers stop respecting each other, things are really not ok, even when they need each other more than they know, as Lykke suggests. And then, to close the year beautifully, she gifted us with this beautiful acoustic version. Sounds like an appropriate end of an intense and heartfelt 2018.

Uptight - Hooverphonic

Countdown to 2019: -3

Uptight - Hooverphonic

Unlike 2017, which has pretty much been a constant flow of awesomeness in terms of music, at least in the first half / three quarters of the year, 2018 has been unfolding more in sparks, something great coming out and then laying low for a while till the next great thing. The last such spark has been the release of Hooverphonic's latest album. They changed singer again, and after not following them closely in the previous era, I immediately found myself immersed in their new music, and I am enjoying their new album quite a lot! It's funny, because the lyrics of most of the songs are describing situations, throughts and characteristics that are pretty much the opposite of mine, but I still found myself entrenched in the listening. 'Uptight' is a perfect example of this: I can't think of any recent situation in which I've been more uptight than I should've (rather, the opposite), but I still can't help loving this song, and I'm quite confident it's gonna stick in my head well into next year!

The end of love - Florence + the Machine

Countdown to 2019: -4

The end of love - Florence + the Machine

When I started these last (and first) five posts of end-of-2018, I already had in mind the five songs I planned to post. And here I am, on the second day, already posting something I hadn't planned to. Well, this seems like a good example of how life seldom goes the way we plan, and how it's important to be able to adapt to the flow sometimes. It's been a few years since Florence released a new album until 'High as hope' came out this summer. It took me a while to appreciate the new music, but I ended up being sold on it. As it often happens with F+tM's music, it ended up growing on me and I listened to some of the songs more and more in the later months of this year. This is one of them, one that I held particularly dear around the end of summer, when I was going through my own end of love, my problematic New York summer (indirectly), my ghosting and my (figurative) jump off the balcony (please don't jump from the balcony for real!). As usual, Florence speaks my life better than I can, even before events unfold. Can't wait to see her again live next March, hoping that after the end of love that came with 2018, new love will sparkle in 2019!

Nobody - Mitski

Countdown to 2019: -5

Nobody - Mitski

2018 is coming to an end, leaving as legacy plenty of great music. Why not share one song per day in these last 5 days of the year? And what better place to do that than A song or two per day? These thoughts were going on in my head and brought me here to resurrect this blog, more than 1 year after the last post. It's been a long time, and I missed it, and I am sure the Facebook friends whose walls I have overloaded with music videos, also miss this blog as an alternative channel of distribution of my music taste! But here I am, back to my longest commitment, at the end of a year that has seen me go through ups and downs, keeping some challenging commitments and letting other go. Life is beautiful has become my mantra, and if you keep repeating something, you will start to believe it. Keep repeating it further and it will become true.
To a 2019 full of beautiful lives! In the meantime, you can just follow MItski's example, open the window to hear sounds of people, even if still nobody wants me, give me one good movie kiss and I'll be alright!

Hurts to liv - liv

Hurts to liv - liv

You know, when you are guilty of something you often get that feeling that makes you try to stay away from everything related to your guilt and makes things even worse. It's not like it was/is my duty to post on this blog, but what happened to it, or better, what didn't happen to it (i.e. me not posting anymore) makes me feel bad, a little bit because of what it represented for me, a little bit for the (few) people that I hope I reached out to and entertained with my stories and especially "my" songs. Unfortunately all good things come to an end, and so it is for blogs. I tried to carry 'A song or two per day' on and on as much as I could, but at one point I lost the necessary motivation to carve 10-20 minutes (almost) every day to devote to it. Be it for (finally, yay!) being involved in a serious relationship, be it because the new school is eating out most of my "free time", be it... I don't know what other reasons, but it just happened that I slowly stopped posting. One thing I can reassure you about is that I haven't lost my passion for music, even if I haven't found a way to keep sharing it here! Rather, this 2017 has been a great year for new music, I am so excited about many of the new albums and songs that have been released! I have been (with my special one) at Lollapalooza Paris, seen a bunch of very nice gigs! Life goes on, I have been having a rough month: school gets more and more stressing, and however much I like doing a PhD and the road it is projecting me to, I often stop to wonder whether it's really worth the insane amount of stress and huge effort I am putting into it. Special one went to study abroad for a couple years, which makes things incredibly harder, so I'm having a bit of a tough time, hoping for things to be better in the future. Let's say I am in investment mode...! Music becomes even more important at these times, as it really is the one thing that brings me forward sometimes. So here I am, back on the blog. I just wanted to let you know I'm alive and well, notwithstanding the hardships of life, and that... well, you never know! I might pop up here every now and then and share something, if I find it in myself to write something else that is not academic thoughts..! I'll leave you with a brand new songs released by liv, the "super-group" founded last year by Lykke Li and a bunch of other Swedish famous singers and musicians. The song seems to come at a perfect time for me, so I hope it can help those of you who are also having it a bit rough lately! Wish you the best!!

Oh woman oh man - London Grammar

Oh woman oh man - London Grammar

I have been silent for a long time, but don't worry, the blog is not dead, not yet at least! My life is apparently getting busier and busier, and while this is most probably a good thing, as it means that I have a lot of things going on and good ways to spend my time, I can't help feeling a little disappointed that I barely ever find the time and energies to post here, especially given the amount of great music that is being released this year!! But here I am, after a very very busy period, I am trying to get a breath for a few days before diving again into work. I need to share with you the latest song shared by London Grammar off their upcoming album 'Truth is a beautiful thing', out in a few weeks, as it's probably my favourite among the four they released so far! I hope you enjoy it too and have a great week!!

You got the love (live remix) - The XX feat. Florence Welch

You got the love (remix live) - The XX feat. Florence Welch

The first encounter I've had with The XX was in 2010 or 2011 when I approached their remix of one of my favourite songs ever, i.e. 'You got the love' by Florence + the Machine, and I was disgusted by that. That kept me far from them for a couple more years, when in 2013 I finally got close to them thanks to some friends' suggestions, and of course I could only regret letting so much time pass by without their music! Still, that 'You got the love' never met my taste, and I couldn't but be amazed about how two of my favourite bands could get together and create something that I found so hateful. The same feeling transferred through to my viewing of their live remix during the recent Night + Day event The XX organised in Brixton. Still, for how much the song didn't please me, their collaboration on the stage was magic, especially how Florence could remix her voice live even better than a DJ could do in a studio...! And that drew me to listen to the song again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And, well... I guess you understood by now what happened afterwards!

"You know it's real! I know, I know, You know it's real! Eh eh eh eh eh eh"

Dark road - Annie Lennox

Dark road - Annie Lennox

Lately  been rediscovering some albums that have been in my iTunes for a long long time, and of which I had only devoted attention to one or a few songs. Annie's 'Songs of mass destruction' is one of those, and 'Dark road' has been indeed a favourite of mine since I was listening to it on the radio during my last high school years (10 years ago, jeez!!). It just felt right to share this now, even if at this time of my life I feel like finally I have been able to lead somebody through the dark road that leads to my house! Let's just say I worked hard to keep the door open all this time, and finally I've been repaid!

"It's a dark road

And a dark way that leads to my house

And the word says

You're never going to find me there

Oh no

I've got an open door

It didn't get there by itself
It didn't get there by itself"

#sundayrevival Billie Jean - Micheal Jackson

Billie Jean - Michael Jackson

Not having listened to or been exposed to Michael Jackson lately, I have absolutely no clue why I woke up today with my head going like "Billie Jean is not my lover, she's just a girl who claims I am the one..."! But I did. Again, I should stop trying to find a reason behind what's going on in my head musically, but it's so peculiar that it makes me curious all the time! Is it s sign telling me I should go do a dance night out while I am still "young enough"? Even with the sore throat and usual malaise that came back to me in these busy, busy days? I wonder...! Well, in case you guys can go out dance to Billie Jean in my stead for the time being, I will join you asap!!

Travelling woman - Bat for lashes

Travelling woman - Bat for lashes

Hola my dear blog readers (if there's anybody of you left)!! I've been absent the longest time, and I am sorry about that, but my control over life is once again (and more and more) slipping through my fingers as more and more duties pile up on each other... My parents came to visit me in Hong Kong last week, their first time in East Asia, and it's been a pleasure to have them here, show them around and spend some time together, even if of course it's been challenging to try and keep up with school rhythm and everything too...! I have a couple big papers due by the end of the month and I have barely started working on them, as (school-related) housekeeping duties keep me busy week in and week out, and by devoting some time to the people who matter to me here in HK (a special one in particular) and to friends and family via Internet, eating, sleeping (poorly) and few more basic human needs, I keep on running out of time (and most of all of productivity). I keep needing a holiday, but I have to clench my teeth and keep it up until May at least!! Good thing is that this 2017 has been giving me a shitload of music satisfaction already, and I'm so sad I can't manage to share it all with you, but I'll give you as many little pills as I can! And apparently I gotta start from way back then, as I recently started listening to 'Bat for lashes' and I'm quite liking her! I think this song works perfectly for the working, semi-lazy, grey-sky Sunday I've just been spending! I hope it works well for the start of your new week too!! Hope to be back up here in a shorter time than last!

Feed my fire - Amy MacDonald

Feed my fire - Amy MacDonald

4 albums behind her, Amy's musical strength (and maybe also her weakness) is for sure coherence: her sound hasn't changed much in 10 years of career, and, I'll never get tired of repeating it, with the current state of the pop music industry, finding somebody who is true to her sound and didn't sell her music to "cheap beats" is always appreciable. Of course people might criticise her, as her songs sound similar to each other, and I don't think that's deniable, but it doesn't prevent me from appreciating all her work, including the newly released 'Under stars', out of which this is one of my first favourites!

#sundayrevival Rich kids blues - Lykke Li

Rich kids blues - Lykke Li

I've been listening to Lykke Li a few times these past days, today I've listened to a new song released by one of her backing singers (Kiki), and I just found out that she had released another song under "liv" band a few months ago! It seemed appropriate to end this hectic and very tough week with her, especially with rich kids blues which kind of makes a lot of sense for me now. The next couple of weeks will probably be even worse, and I'm anxious already about all the things I'll have to do, but well, again... better to be too busy than too bored! Have a great new week!

Human behaviour - Björk

Human behaviour - Bjork

I don't think my life could be summed up in any way better than with this song right now! Having a rollercoaster week, and the more stress kicks in, the more extreme mood changes are. Still, so frustrating and irresistible to approach the definitely definitely definitely no logic!

"If you ever get close to a human

And human behaviour

Be ready to get confused

There's definitely, definitely, definitely no logic

To human behaviour

But yet so, yet so irresistible

And there's no map

They're terribly moody

And human behaviour

Then all of a sudden turn happy

But, oh, to get involved in the exchange

Of human emotions is ever so, ever so satisfying"

#sundayrevival Pretty good year - Tori Amos

Pretty good year - Tori Amos

I don't know why I found myself with this song in my head this afternoon, but I just did. I suppose I triggered Tori myself by suggesting her music to a friend recently, but I suppose that's not all of it...! Anyway I guess that, notwithstanding my generally bad mood of the last few days/weeks (I need a holiday), a Sunday with Tori can never be a totally bad Sunday. Maybe it's a bliss of another kind...!

Big picture - London Grammar

Big picture - London Grammar

Almost another week has gone by without me posting, and this time of my life is a really really busy one...! I will just spare a few minutes to share with you another song that London Grammar released (a while ago now) in anticipation of their forthcoming sophomore album. I must say I like 'Big picture' better than the previous "Rooting for you", and the video is also very beautiful! I hope you enjoy it and I also wish all of us a pleasant weekend!